conflict

Pregnant with Doubt

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In Genesis chapter 16, we find Abram and Sarai’s hope fading once again about ever having a child. We are reminded once again that Sarai has bore Abram no children and in this time of waiting for a promise that never seems to come true, Sarai gets the idea that she and Abram can still have a child if Abram sleeps with her handmaid Hagar. Sarai tells this to Abram and he listens to her – he goes along with this plan. It doesn’t say that Abram protested, expressed any opinions, struggled, nothing. It just says that Abram listened to his wife.

So Abram goes and sleeps with this other girl and gets her pregnant. Once his wife Sarai notices that Hagar is pregnant (which must have taken some time, it couldn’t have been immediate) she also noticed a change in Hagar. Hagar started looking down on Sarai and treating her poorly. Hagar was disrespecting the chain of command and that made Sarai angry.

Sarai went to Abram and told him how she felt and Abram was like “look this is your servant, handle it” so Sarai was SO mean to Hagar that Hagar ran away.

Upset, pregnant, probably lacking resources and scared, Hagar went off into the wilderness. An angel came to the wilderness looking for Hagar and began to talk to her about her situation. The angel asked her a very important question, ” where are you coming from and where are you going?” Once the angel heard her out, Hagar was given a blessing saying that she would have a multitude of offspring, but that her son would be a wild and crazy guy. The angel told Hagar to name her son Ishmael which means God hears. Then the angel instructed Hagar to go back to Sarai and submit to her.

Hagar called that place in the wilderness Beer-lahai-roi, meaning the well of the God who sees me, because God saw her in her place of affliction. She went back to Abram and Sarai and gave birth to Ishmael when Abram was 86 years old.

For me, this story touches a place deep in my soul. That place that is waiting for a promise that doesn’t seem to come. The promise that keeps getting told to me, the one I have heard many times and am waiting in anticipation, but I see nothing in my life that points to this promise coming true. Like Abram and Sarai, I have my doubts and sometimes I come up with my own plans to “help” God with His promise, but that never seems to work out. The amazing thing is that the promise is still a promise. God’s word for my life doesn’t change just because I can’t be patient. Abram and Sarai didn’t lose out on their promise just because they tried to figure out their own way of doing things, they just had some added complications to their blessing.

I also greatly appreciate how God dealt with Hagar. She wasn’t trying to mess up anyone’s blessings, but when she got blessed when someone else didn’t, she got a little arrogant. She treated someone she served poorly because she thought she was better than her. That led to some consequences and Sarai treated her poorly as a result. I don’t know what kind of relationship they had before, but even if it was just cordial and professional, that relationship was now broken and both sides were hurt.

Being extremely hurt, Hagar ran away, but God met her in that broken and lonely place and sent someone to talk with and listen to her. I love the question that the angel asks, “where have you come from and where are you going?” It’s a great self reflection question about where we’re at and what led us to get to this place and how are we going to get out of it. A lot of times brokenness, anger, mistakes and sin have caused us to run away to the wilderness, but God sees us and meets us in these lonely places. He will even bless us in our mess, but then He instructs us to turn back to that broken place and return with a different attitude.

Now I imagine that it was extremely hard for Hagar to go back to a broken relationship and submit. I bet it was extremely hard to go back to someone who treated her so harshly and stay in that place and not have content in her heart. I bet it was equally hard for Sarai to accept Hagar back into her presence after she treated her poorly and then seeing Hagar run away, but that’s the beauty of God. He calls us back to the broken places so the His glory can shine.

Now the text doesn’t say that Sarai welcomed Hagar back with open arms, but it also doesn’t say she backhanded her upon arrival. I imagine there was some awkwardness as they both tried to navigate the broken relationship, but I love that God sent Hagar back for the chance to make things right.

Be encouraged, God is the God who sees us. He will keep His promises to us and even if we mess up along the way, he will give us another chance to make things right. He is the God of many chances, so even if you are currently in the wilderness, if you were hurt, if you did the hurting, if you have doubt, if you messed up something so bad that you don’t think it can ever be fixed, know that God hears you and he will give you another chance to go back and try again.

The Grass is Always Greener…

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Genesis chapter 13, we find Abram and his family leaving Egypt heading to Negeb (the dry land south of Judah). Abram had A LOT of stuff, including riches and livestock. Now the thing about livestock is that they need a lot of space to graze and live. As they were setting up camp, it became apparent that the land couldn’t support Abram (with all of his possessions and livestock) and Lot (his nephew who was traveling with his own possessions and livestock). It was like having two large families try to share a studio apartment, there just wasn’t enough space.

Strife (conflict/fights) started breaking out between Abram’s camp and Lot’s camp. Abram told Lot that family shouldn’t be fighting, so he told Lot that they needed to separate, but that he would give Lot whatever land he wanted. Lot decided to head to the lusciously green land of Sodom and Gomorrah (let’s take note of this appealing to the eye land for a later chapter) and they separated. So Abram settled in Canaan and Lot went East.

Now, the text tells us that the men of Sodom were wicked and big giant sinners against God. In other words, they were the bad guys in just about any movie you can think of. You know the guys who twist their mustache before doing something stupid and you just want to punch them in the face? These were those guys. More on them later.

Anyways, God went and talked to Abram after he separated from Lot. God told Abram that all the land that Abram sees is going to be his and his offspring’s (note – he still doesn’t have kids yet and he’s older that 75 years old at this point). God tells Abram that he will have so many offspring that he won’t be able to count them. After their talk, Abram moved his tent to Mamre (a land of oak trees) and built an alter to the Lord. And that’s where we leave this chapter.

Sometimes we have to separate ourselves from people we love for the sake of keeping the peace and expanding the kingdom. When you have such a large camp and someone you’re traveling with also has a big camp, there might not be enough resources for you both to stay in the same place. Assess your situation and make sure your not cramped into a space that’s causing you to fight. The thing I love about how Abram resolved this situation is that he loved his nephew so much that he let him have his pick of the land. He gave Lot the choice of the best place in all the area to go and dwell and Abram took what was left over. Abram was a peacemaker.

The great part of this story is that God blessed Abram after this. Abram gave up the better land and God told him that ALL of the land would belong to him and his family. Isn’t that just like God to bless us back double when we’re obedient to let go of the little things? Be encouraged, if God is asking you to give something up, it’s so He can make room to give you something so much greater.